HELPING YOUTH TO AN ADDICTION-FREE LIFESTYLE

There is no single reason why young people use drugs and alcohol, and there is no easy way to prevent use and abuse of alcohol, drugs or gambling activities.

Research shows both risk factors and protective factors play a role in determining whether or not young people will experience harmful affects from the use of alcohol, drugs or gambling.

We also know resilience plays a role.  Resiliency is the ability to rebound from hardship, difficulty and misfortune and successfully adapt to adverse situations.

No matter how old we are, all of us reach milestones and turning points.  For kids, starting at a new school or facing a challenge is a huge turning point.  Like any adult facing a daunting new situation, kids feel the pressure too.

Some kids trying to fit in

As a way to fit in, some kids may make unhealthy choices, including experimentation with alcohol or drugs.  Fortunately, most of us survive these transitions and adapt well.  We do that by drawing on our innate resilience, our ability to challenge adversity and cope with stress and change.

Resiliency is a concept that assumes everyone has abilities, attitudes and tendencies that can help them survive, even thrive, in stressful or adverse situations.

Many of these abilities are developed or enhanced by exposure to supportive people and environments.  These positive personal tendencies and environmental conditions are called protective factors.

Three key qualities to managing stress

Bonnie Benard, a prominent researcher in the field, has narrowed a long list of protective factors down to three key qualities that help children and adults manage stress points in their lives.  These qualities are:

Having a caring and supportive relationship with at least one person ( in the case of children, this person is an adult; a parent, a teacher, a neighbour, a relative, a member of the clergy ); hearing consistent, clear, and high but realistic expectations ( "I know you can do it!" messages ); and having plenty of meaningful opportunities to shape, influence and control aspects of one's environment.

These factors combine with the ability to develop close relationships with others, good problem-solving skills, a clear sense of purpose and faith in one's abilities.

Of course, having caring and supportive people around you who tell you you're capable and competent, and who support you when you test your wings, contribute significantly to self-esteem and your own sense of competence.

Path of least resistance tempts

Every new circumstance we encounter is a potential threat to our well-being.  Like adults, kids run the risk of failure, of making an unhealthy decision, of responding in the wrong way.

The temptation to take the path of least resistance, to maintain feelings of relative safety and security, is strong.  For some kids, the path of least resistance may mean giving in to peer pressure, or making the unsafe or unwise decision rather than risking rejection.

Kids who adapt in healthy ways to adversity and change tend to have higher self-esteems, are more likely to succeed in school, are less likely to drop out, to get pregnant and to develop drug problems, than kids who stiffen and snap when strong winds blow.

Resilient kids seek out and use the support of people who believe in them.  They are given, or recognize, every opportunity to fly and they take it, knowing that if they fall, they'll have learned valuable lessons for next time.  Resilient kids are survivors, even thrivers -- sometimes in the most horrendous of circumstances.

To nurture resilience in your children try these tactics:

* Be aware of key milestones and transition points in your child's life.  Entering school, changing from elementary to junior to senior high, graduating and entering the workforce or college -- all are high stress points and need you to be available and supportive.

* Listen -- really listen -- to your child.  Check any tendency to minimize or trivialize your child's concerns.  Even if your child insists they are fine and refuses to talk, expressing your concern lets them know you're there for them and that you care -- an important thing for a child to know at any age.

* Offer tips and hints when you're able, but allow children to solve problems themselves.  Resilient kids learn to problem-solve only when they're allowed to.  Don't be afraid to let them see you struggle with and solve problems, either.

* Let kids know how capable they are.  We all need a cheering section, even if it consists of just one person.  Kids have an uncanny sense of whether people believe in them or not, so back up your words with an abiding faith in their abilities.

* Encourage them to ask for help where necessary.  This helps them build a support network, something that's crucial when things are going badly as well as when things are going well.

In summary, as caregivers it is of utmost importance that we create conditions in a young person's life that help build strong perceptions of their own personal capabilities -- "I have confidence in my ability to face adversity, to learn from my mistakes, and as a result I am able to develop my self-confidence and personal competency."